Caveman

14 March 2013

Caveman (1981)

• Director: Carl Gottlieb
• Based on Book: no
• Cast: Ringo Starr, Dennis Quaid, Shelley Long, Jack Gilford, Barbara Bach
• Personal “oh yeah him/her” reaction, i.e. have seen this actor in:
• Ringo Starr: Well, we hardly have to wonder where we’ve seen him before
• Dennis Quaid: Smart People, American Dreamz, Day After Tomorrow, Far from Heaven, Great Balls of Fire
• Why bought: Ringo and relatively good rating in Maltin
• Seen: October 13, 2012

This might be the stupidest movie I’ve ever seen. I’m almost embarrassed to admit I watched the whole thing.  Well, I dozed off now and then but I do that even with good movies.

Was it worth watching? Not really.  So why did I? Well, Ringo.  Although it was a bit painful to watch him parody his own role as a lonely outcast in A Hard Day’s Night, a role he played so well we forgot he might not be playing himself.  Here he was foolishly macho and not very likeable.  But he’s still Ringo.

And every time I was about to turn it off something really funny happened. Here’s a list:

• Text: “One zillion years B.C.” Silly but when a few seconds later “October 9” appeared on the screen, I laughed out loud. I use the same kind of silliness in my history lectures.
• Ravel’s “Bolero” being played while Ringo tries to have sex with the comatose Lana (he’d drugged her – not funny at all).
• Almost 2001: A Space Odyssey music when they discovered fire and later The William Tell Overture (you know, theme music of the Lone Ranger) for a chase.
• Shifting scene with the text: “A nearby ice age”.
• The credits: 
• Tyrannosaurus Rex – himself
• Big Horned Lizard – himself
• Pterodactyl -  herself
• Howling Lizard – himself

     The fact that I even laughed at all this is probably evidence of serious character flaws in myself that shouldn’t be revealed but laugh I did and that’s why, in spite of the annoyingly ludicrous sexism (spoof, I know, but unfunny and annoying anyway) and making jokes about discovering weapons and war, it doesn’t get a zero on the scale but, let’s say, 

2* of 100?