Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

29 October 2018

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets 2017

• Director: Luc Besson
• Based on the novel: no
• Cast: Dane DeHaan, Cara Delavigne, Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, Herbie Hancock, Chris Wu, Sam Spruell
• Personal “oh yeah him/her” reaction, i.e. have seen this actor in:
• Clive Owen – Extras, Elizabeth the Golden Age, Children of Men, Derailed, Closer, King Arthur, The Bourne Identity, Gosford Park, Croupier
• Ethan Hawke  – Cymbeline, Before Sunset, Tape, Hamlet, Snow Falling on Cedars, Before Sunrise, Reality Bites, Waterland, Dead Poets Society
• Sam Spruell – Legend, The Lady in the Van, Defiance, Elizabeth the Gold Age, London to Brighton
• Why? Sci fi. Besson
• Seen: 26 October 2018      

       Five hundred years or so into the future humans have lots of space travel and meet lots of aliens. A very peaceful planet with sweet loving creatures who harvest high-energy pearls is invaded and destroyed. The only survivor merges her soul with that of Valerian, who with his partner Laureline dash about the universe, young, bickering, planet-hopping lovers who are highly trained and nonchalantly confident at… whatever it is they do. Police? Spies? Ah, federal agents. Whatever that means. Never mind.

       It’s funny, imaginative, clever, beautifully visual, exciting. It’s sort of James Bond meets The Fifth Element meets Harry Potter meets Doctor Who meets some super cool visual reality computer game about which I know nothing.

       Sadly the two leads are totally without charisma or romantic chemistry, they’re just American high school smart asses. James McAvoy and Keeley Hawes would have been so good in these roles. It loses itself in all the cool technical stuff. As always I fall asleep in the battle scenes and it’s way too long. And why, oh, why doesn’t it keep the title of the comic book upon which it is based? Valerian and Laureline! Why is she demoted out of the title? Really annoying, Besson!

       Still, though it’s not La Femme Nikita or Léon it’s often a lot of fun and the parts I like, I like a lot.

2*/4* of 5